DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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