Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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