i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
