The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
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My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize