maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
