you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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