Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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