sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
