Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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