Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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