please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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