if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
