nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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