Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
