New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
