omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
is wine microwaveable?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
