You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
