I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
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I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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