Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize