i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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