Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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