i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
