but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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