I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
