she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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