these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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