My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
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The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
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I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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