I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
