That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
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Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
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GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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