I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
