the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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