hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
