I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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