Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
