all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
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Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
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Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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