I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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