Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
