i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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