you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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