Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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