why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
