woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
