This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
