Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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