Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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