No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
