Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
