Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize