there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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