the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
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