why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
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Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
why is half of my head shaved?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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