PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
