sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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