well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize