he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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