If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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