I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
then he tried to convert me to islam
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
