You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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